The wife is like "I need to do some errands after work. I need to go to (the jewelry store I like) and (the sewing store that I HATE) and (the shoe joint that I like a lot) and (the clothing store that I HATEHATEHATE! I SPIT ON THAT STORE!)."
And I respond, being the helpful and loving husband that I am,
"why certainly darling, I will pick you at 4:30, I will run around doing your bidding, and then you can take me to the Chapterhouse for the beers and popcorn" and she is an excellent gal, and is totally on board with the plan.
The wife, as you see above, works at Cornell University, in a department that, to put it one way, as the wife tells me today:
"today? The only mail we got was some loopy guy's theory about the PYRAMIDS. He spent OVER a dollar to mail it to us. He didn't even proofread his own name and address on the envelope...".
As you can see above, it has that IVY LEAGUE look, because Cornell IS, actually, Ivy League. The wife has a joe job there. We love it all, and campus is right next to the Chapterhouse. Pretty convenient, locating campus by my favorite bar.
ANYWAY, on our honeymoon in 1993 we stayed at a castle in Maine on the ocean, probably the only vacation we have ever taken (really!). You heard that right, WE STAYED IN A CASTLE ON THE OCEAN. I am not kidding when I say it was living the board game CLUE: there was a library, billiards room, etc. You could hang out in the library from 4-6 and suck up all the expensive wine and hors de oevers (how do you spell that?) your belly could handle. Frankly, we didn't need any dinner after that.
It was our habit to grab a glass at 4 or 5 and go down and play pool for an hour. The wife kicked my azz every time (I should have known, she had kicked my azz at pool the whole time we dated too). Then we would wander upstairs for the hors de things and chat with the other guests. There was this charming but HORRIBLE republican type couple staying there too. They tried to, I swear I am not making this up, recruit us for the KKK or one of those sort of hate groups. Really! And the woman in this couple is like "dear, I hope you let your new husband win at pool every time".
The wife fixes the beyotch with this look and says "he has NEVER beaten me at pool".
OK, that was then, this is now.
I grab the popcorn and the pint this evening, 4 quarters in hand, and I am like
"foosball? .....or pool (shaking in my boots, I AM SCARED TO PLAY POOL AGAINST MY WIFE)" and she is like
"rack 'em up".
Let's just say she had a bad outing. A very bad game. REALLY BAD.
:)
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7 comments:
Oh dear- does that put you in the proverbial doghouse? Maude looks SERIOUS in that picture!
She had a bad game because those are tiny tables - only six feet. A real table is nine. Come down and I will take you two to a billiards hall. LOL!
You guys are an inspiration! Always having loads of fun and busting each other's chops.
I love playing pool! Its how I learned physics! Sadly. I am way out of practice playing pool.
I love playing pool too!.. but I'm crap at it these days. I used to play league way back, but I think I forgot everything. Looks like a fun day, G&M. :)
This is a great blog...love it! George and I loved to go bowling for fun, we both suck, but it's fun! One time we went with this couple, the guy was a chauvanistic bastard! Pompous, the whole works. He was a great bowler. Well for fun I told him I was going to "Beat his Azz" at bowling. He condecendedly looked at me and said, "Yeah when hell freezes over woman"!...I truly bowled a 269, beat his azz, and George and I never stopped laughing...! I never bowled that again, usually 110. lol lol lol..:) Absolute Truth!!!!
One of my favorite things about swimming on a co-ed swim team in high school was soundly trumping the occasional chauvinist pig-boy who thought it was "hilarious" he had to race against a girl.
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