FIRST time a pretty girl has asked me to dance, but not the first death threat

Working backwards on Saturday, OK? Last night Stevo calls and he is like"
"dig it, Purple valley is playing a gig downtown" and I am like
"!!!! I love Purple Valley! Curtis, the drummer, is my buddy! I'll change into my Stones party shirt" and Stevo is like
"we'll pick you up at 7:30" and he and his wife Judy got me and OFF we went.
We arrived just before 8 and the band was hangin' around for a bit and Stevo knows all the people in the band and I know Curtis, and Stevo introduces me around. I am like
"hot sh!t! this is the BAND!" and we go in and get settled, and as usual, Stevo and I are snapping some pics, and in between tunes the lead singer and guitar John here, who has been described as looking like ALL of the Rolling Stones put together, which is true, (he is a LIBRARIAN during the week) asks me to get some video for them, which I do. I am HOT STUFF, I know the band, I am making music videos for them, and then, GET THIS:

Lots of people are dancing. I do not dance. I am sitting there. THIS BEAUTIFUL WOMAN comes up and asks me to dance. I swear I am not making this up. I'll say it again THIS BEAUTIFUL WOMAN asks me to dance, and she was like, a perfect ten, wearing one of those little cami tops and all (I am married, of course, to a more than perfect 11). I am, of course, flustered and shy, and say "no thanks" and make sure my ring finger is prominently displayed so that the HAWT BABES will STAY BACK. I think it is the first time in my life a woman has asked me to dance. You're married nearly 18 years, the wife is out of town, you are out with your buddies, you don't really expect some gorgeous 30 year old to ask you to dance, but it happened. Probably liked my Stones party tee...

I won't say death threats are a routine part of my life, but yesterday's is NOT the first I have encountered. A few years back, in New Hampshire, our drunken redneck neighbor pretty much said he wanted to kill me every time he saw me. Made me a little nervous, but I survived. Yesterday I get this email, maybe from overseas, some type of scam, THEY WILL KILL ME UNLESS I let them come over to the house and give them 15 thou. Maybe it is some teenager down the street. Whatever. The email address is hotmail and I was gonna ignore it, but friends said I should tell the NY attorney general, who so far has done nothing to save my azz. I mean, c'mon, how about a security detail?

Lastly, of course, I had first Saturday open studios and lotsa people came over, like Nance and Norah here....