Gary's Third Pottery Blog

When the going gets tough, dragons gonna get going....

Gary's third pottery blog

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Monday, October 25, 2010

a guest post

(penguin mug by Gary Rith)
The wife went to a writer's conference of some kind this weekend, and used a photo of *surprise* somebody making pots on the wheel to write an essay.
She wrote this amusing piece as the sort of internal conflict and nerves that can go through somebody's mind while trying to get a blob of flying mud to behave...

Maude Rith Sunday, October 24, 2010

Okay, first impression, ha, ha, ha. We’ve got the clay centered now to shape it, bend it to my will. I am mighty. Ha! Oh, did I say ‘ha’ already? Different context.

Concentrate, Sweetie, concentrate, this clay depends on you. It's not all brute strength is it? No, work with the clay, be it, see what you want to do, where you want to go. Well, first of all I want to bring my fingers down closer to the bottom of the pot, then I want to pull the sides. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I coulda guessed that but where to you want to go? Oh, you mean like "I want to crate a lyrical, soaring pot that transcends the mere mind it's made of to evoke mythology in its most essential form to echo man's essence.”

Are you making fun of me?

Oh no, darling, I wouldn’t dare.

So you are making fun of me

Well, what did you expect me to say? I’m shaping a pot, maybe I don’t know yet. Maybe I won’t know until the second or third pull.


What do you mean, what? What the pot wants to be, silly, cylinder bowl, vase, ginger jar, agora, water jug, flower pot, casserole . . .

Alright, alright already.

Teapot, mug, bean pot, gravy boat . . .

You would not make a gravy boat.

Careful, you’re going to wreck my concentration and I you do, so help me--

What? You’ll tell me to shut up?

Shut up! Now I’m thinning the walls and if it wants to be chocked in, it’ll be a vase or a ginger jar.

Well I’m supposed you didn’t pronounce it vahse.

Shut up.

Vase, vahse, vase, vahse, vase, vase, vase.

Will you just shut up already?

No way, I want to hear the list. Aren’t you going to say, “sardine dish?”

Any other Victorian accoutrements you wish to mention? I’m about to start concentrating and really shut you out.

I hope your finger pokes into it.

Thanks so much. Do you mind?

I’ll just sit here humming (You are here and warm, but I could look away and you’d be gone)

I really hate that song.

It’s on the radio.

Well, I was able to tune it out.

Ha, ha, no pun intended, huh?

Okay, you just made me goof the top edge. Now quiet while I fix it.


Gallow said...

This is fantastic!! I hope there will be future guest posts by this author, or perhaps a blog of it's own.

Busy Bee Suz said...

I love this. She is a funny gal!

Unknown said...

Oh Maude, you got it! Great guest post, and "Oh you know us all too well"! lol lol :) Keep being Maude and don't ever change a thing. We love you, and Gary, Oh and his pots! lol :)

Reverend Awesome said...

YAY! I agree with StevO! Guest posts by Maude or a Maude blog!!!
You guys are adorable.

k.a. barnes said...

"Victorian accoutrements."

I <3 Maude.

k.a. barnes said...

That's supposed to be a heart.
Stupid blogger.

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I am a full-time studio potter, sculptor, and dog walker, married to superhawt Missus Tastycake.