Dear Abby's assistant....

I dreamt I was Dear Abby's assistant when she wrote the newspaper advice column of my youth. I remember that either she or Ann Landers said:

a) yes, the birth control pill, a young lady should take the pill and hold it firmly between her knees and she will never become pregnant (cracks me up---because, when you think about it, with a little yoga and contortionist action, believe me, s3x and pregnancy can be achieved with a pill clenched between the knees--and I wonder how many creative young couples tried that?)
I don't give her high marks for that advice. She should have said take the pill out from between your knees and swallow the damn thing, DAILY.

b) to the many young women who wrote to her that their boyfriend had been gay, she wrote that gays always went back to men. I think the real answer to that is maybe, maybe not, so I give her low marks there too, what did she know about gay men???????

c) She, or Ann, also said men will always tire of pronography, that once a man has seen a vajajay, unless he is a sicko, he will never look again. YEAH RIGHT!

The so called Greatest Generation may have had its head stuck in the sand.

Anyway, my dream was that I had a job as her assistant. I was given boring letters and asked to tart them up, make them more interesting and salacious for her to answer. Instead of "my husband left me for another man!" I would write "even though I am a contortionist with ample charms, my boyfriend made prono movies of us doing it but then he left me for a male orangutan!"



(new pottery by Gary Rith--I love that glaze, and it makes me want to make a lot of frogs)