(above, Kasey and Scott, below, Brett,
Kerry, the wife and me)
I was talking with the wife over the banana bread and French roast and Morning Edition:
me: I don't get it, why don't all women just go LESBIAN?
she: ????
me: I mean, you think about it, young women would be all romantic and cuddly with each other, and young boys would be all pimples and grabby and sweaty and trying to score...
she: ????
me: Women get the short end of the stick, men are horrible! Like the saying goes, a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
she: ????
me: I have to be a decent guy. YOU are such a sweetie. I gotta make you triple chocolate cookies and offer up the neck rubs and pedicures, make sure I, you know, make you happy.
she: YOU DO!
me: Oh, thanks :) 99.9 percent of guys are totally worthless. I feel bad for women. But I like Brett and Scott.....they are both artsy and fun and really wonderful to their wives.
AND SO I got the idea to contact Brett's wife
Kerry and Scott's wife
Kasey, see what I could learn:
This winter sucks eggs, but you two are some of my most favorite and funny friends. Which gave me an idea, an INTERVIEW! I love hearing what ya'lls have to say because it is a) interesting and b) funny.
This is what I wanna do, a blogpost on ROMANCE, starring you two. I love both your stories, I really do.
I love how Kerry grew up and went to college at the same time and place as Brett but didn't meet until years later, and Brett was so supportive of Kerry's hopes and dreams. Shoot, I'd marry Brett too.....
And Scott and
kasey: this is big, you guys got engaged about a year ago, and got married about half a year ago, HOT DAMN! I love it! Newlyweds!
Maude and I got married 18 years ago, but it was 19 years ago this week we got together :)
So let me ask some questions, OK? Then I want to blog post a feature on ya'lls. I'll answer them too. (and answer as long or short as you like, you are both good writers)
1) When did you first notice the person you would marry?
2) What was the first nice thing they did for you?
3) What was your first date like?
4) What was the first thing somebody else told you about you two as a couple?
5) What do you remember about the first time you talked about marriage?
MY STORY
1) I first noticed Maude when I was entering a gallery exhibit in December 1989. I just found the poster Maude made for it the other day, too. Anyway, she had organized an exhibit of craft work made at University of Illinois Craft shops, and I delivered my box with a tea set to her office. I walk in with the box and she was so pretty I couldn't look her in the eye and asked 'where do I put this?' and she is like 'over there'. Memorable, eh? We got to know each other for 2-3 years before we had a date, but as for that first moment, she reminded me the other day that mine was the ONLY artwork in that show that sold.
2) First nice thing she did for me was I was planning to move apartments and she was just an aquaintance, and she is a tiny little woman, and she tells me 'OH! I can help you move your stuff!'. Wow. MARRIAGE MATERIAL.
3) Our first date was December 1991, we went to Lincoln Park Zoo's caroling to the animals. I was a very cold and rainy day, and we met by the seals. Afterwards, we went across the park to this great Mexican place and sat next to the fireplace, the only people there!
4) First thing somebody said to us, about us? Maude had a friend at work who was like 'rebound. It'll never last!' And when we were flying to Kansas City to meet her family, a guy sat next to us on the plane, and was a very nice retiree, who heard about us and said 'in all the years you will be together, through thick and thin, always remember why you got together. ' People do forget that sometimes, don't they???
5) The first time we talked about marriage, was summer of 92. We had been together a few months, and planned to marry in another year or 2. But we had just been to a friend's wedding, and you know how THAT gets you thinking, and we were on the elevated train platform waiting for the EL to take us back into Chicago when we said 'hey, why don't we get married on Christmas instead of waiting? It will only be half a year from now!'. And that is what we did, Christmas 1992 :)
Kerry and Brett
Aww, I love that your first date was carolling at the zoo!
1) When did you first notice the person you would marry?
We rode home together one weekend from college. Brett & I grew up in towns five miles apart but we never met until we both attended Ithaca College in the same school. He sat behind me in Intro to Mass Media. The girl who lived across the hall from me was friends with Brett's brother, so we both rode home with her one weekend freshman year. He read out loud from David Letterman's Book of Top Ten Lists. Dawn thought it was really annoying but I thought they were hysterical & I couldn't complain because I'd done the same thing to my roommates/friends.
2) What was the first nice thing they did for you?
Well, he probably didn't know it at the time. After my uncle died, I got thinking about what I wanted to do with my life and I realized I hated my job, hated living where I did (Rochester, NY) and wanted something different. My dad convinced me to apply to grad school to study education and offered to let me live at home with them and commute to school. I took a big risk applying- I quit my job, gave up my apartment (and nearly all my independence) and gambled everything on getting into school. My boyfriend at the time was very dismissive of this; he'd been a big fish in a little pond in high school, and college & the real world had been quite different for him, so he'd taken to putting my accomplishments down to make himself feel better. When I got the letter saying that not only was I accepted but they were awarding me an assistantship, I was ecstatic and relieved. Ex's response was "Well, it's only Alfred U." My parents took me out to dinner that night to celebrate and I ran into Brett. He asked what I was doing in town and I told him my good news. He was thrilled for me and told me how much he missed being a student and asked all about what I was going to be studying and what my assistantship would entail. It was the reaction my boyfriend was SUPPOSED to have.
3) What was your first date like?
Heh heh. It was a little bit more of a drunken hook-up than a date. I went out for trivia night at the bar in town with the guy I was seeing at the time- a friend of mine from high school who'd always had a crush on me but I'd been dating one of his friends. Unfortunately, he'd changed a lot and had become something of a drunken boor and I had the feeling I was only there to feed his team answers. I kept sneaking away to where Brett was playing with some friends of his. He invited us to an after-hours party at his apartment which was conveniently located across the street from the bar. My 'date' went as well, but soon left (possibly passed out in someone's bushes somewhere). After almost everyone had left his apartment, Brett & I were sitting out on his stoop and he just leaned over & kissed me and we both said, "Why haven't we done this before?" When he proposed, it was December and all his other big plans for doing it grandly had fallen apart so he drove me in front of his old apartment, as close as we could get to the stoop in the snow, and asked me then.
4) What was the first thing somebody else told you about you two as a couple?
Hmm, I don't really remember. There was general approval of Brett across the board. And I remember being at a party with his friends where I was being told the instructions for a game we were about to play and I said, "Oh, like chocolate babies?" referencing an old SNL skit, and Brett told Hap, "See, I told you she was one of us." Oh yes, wait a minute. Shortly after we started dating, I ran into a boy who was friends with my sister in the convenience store across from the bar. Brett & I were buying hot dogs & potato chips. This kid, Ryan, had a crush on me and used to bring me a box of chocolate-covered cherries for my birthday each year. He saw me with Brett & pulled me aside and told me he didn't like the looks of "that guy."
5) What do you remember about the first time you talked about marriage?
He'd been thinking about it long before me. We'd gone to my cousin's wedding which was just over the top, bagpipers announcing the newlyweds' arrival, full-on Catholic ceremony, DJs announcing the couple's every move, obnoxious videographer in everybody's way, etc. And I know I was thinking, there is no way I could ever do that. Then our friends Dan & Polly got married and we were both in the wedding. It was the coolest, most laid-back wedding I'd ever been to, really simple, heartfelt, just a good party. They didn't have an elaborate sit-down dinner- they had buffet trays of delicious snacks. Their wedding cake was a sheet cake from Wegmans with a Simpsons figure set plopped into it (Homer & Marge at the prom). It was at an old barn that had been renovated into an events hall, but was still rustic. I remember telling Brett at some point in the night, 'you know, we could do this,' and he said,' shh, don't ruin my surprise.' Four months later we were engaged and when we were planning our wedding, we modeled a lot of it on Dan & Polly's.
Me: Awesome, now Kasey and Scott:
1) When did you first notice the person you would marry?
I first noticed him in Juice (free weekly publication in Des Moines). I didn't notice because I thought, "Oh he's cute." I couldn't tell you what he looked like after reading it. (It was a taste test of generics vs. brands, he was a tester) I noticed he was saying funny things and me and Heath read it and I said, "Why is this person trying to be hilarious like us?" We didn't write for Juice, mind you. This wasn't someone taking away our column. This was just someone doing what we do, which is be hilarious. That was Scott. I didn't know Scott. I forgot about someone infringing on our kind of funny. I didn't realize that it was him until I came to his apartment for the first time and the article was on the fridge and I read it and told him how I was mad, but not really, at him about it all. That was me and Heath's way of saying he was funny.
2) What was the first nice thing they did for you?
He invited me to go see his friend Adam play in a multi-person invite on myspace. That's when I knew how special I was! Oh, that's not really an example is it.
Well drat. That's how we first started talking though. Okay, on our first date he didn't wear jeans even though he loves wearing jeans because I told him I hated wearing jeans. He was not only accepting my lunacy, he was embracing it and encouraging it. He also gave me a box of Fruity Pebbles, my favorite cereal.
3) What was your first date like?
We talked online and decided he'd make dinner. He made pasta. We watched Wonder Years and colored. He still has our first conversations online. He put them in a book for me. Here's how the final decision when to go on a date was made...
Me: Be a man and make a decision. I'll be a girl and say that doesn't work for me and then we can figure it out from there.
Scott: How about yesterday?
Me: You know yesterday I'm just really busy. It's not a good day for me. I have a whole bunch of gross sandwiches to eat.
Scott: Damnit
Me: Plus aren't you busy getting lost and talking tennis?
Scott: Shit. I forgot all about that. How about tomorrow night or Tuesday night?
Me: Okay Tuesday night. Tomorrow night I have to watch Girlfriends. I refuse to give that up.
4) What was the first thing somebody else told you about you two as a couple?
I don't remember. I'm such a jerk!
5) What do you remember about the first time you talked about marriage?
I don't know if we ever really talked about it. I was never thinking about it or worried about it. We would talk about life and being old people together, but not really marriage. Kids, sure. All that business, but never about when we were getting married. Then all the sudden we were getting married and now we're married! Whew. That was a journey, huh?
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