Gary's Third Pottery Blog
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Gary's third pottery blog

WRITE TO ME! garyrith@yahoo.com Come see me! Gallery 41 Owego, NY Sept. 7. Cooperstown Art Association "Earth, Wind, Fire" New York Invitational August 22-Sept 20.. Six Mile Creek Winery Harvest Fest September 13. All material on this blog unless stated otherwise is copyright Gary Edward Rith 2013-2014

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Salacious Wednesday Q and A with Gary

Some of my pals turn to ME for all them insights into MEN. That's ME, just a regular guy, able to explain us dudes. Reminder: you can send questions too, but I am an unlicensed, untrained and uninformed advice columnist, you have been warned!

(Thanks Kerry, Kasey, Christi, Maureen, Lizzie, Becky Jo!)

Christi
Gary...so i'd love to ask a guy just WHAT is UP with the committment phobia thing? But I'm sure you'd rather tackle something lighter like leaving the toilet seat up. Or I've been having a conversation with my gal friends about men and their organizational systems...either having absolutely no system whatsoever, or being completely uptight about their uber-organized systems?

Lizzie
yeah the commitment issue, what gives there?????

Gary
OK, commitment? Righto. I have thought a lot about this.
There is a certain type of guy, like me, who likes domesticity and quiet and routines, plus we recognized early that our hawt lady was quite a catch and NO PROBS latching onto her and holding tight.
As for single guys in Ithaca who would commit? There are A LOT of them drifting around the public library during the day and getting an early start on happy hour at the Chapterhouse. They would totally commit to you...or anybody...for some square meals, clean sheets and a roof over their head. They may not smell good, may not be young or sane or sober, but I am sure they would marry even a poodle if it meant a roof over their heads.
That may not be helpful.
Yes, it seems like a lot of guys are fun to hang out with, handsome and all the rest, but they know it. They know that they can gets lots of nookie with lots of hawt chicks, and they won't bother settling down. Why should they, they are too busy living the dreams of every 15 year old boy. I always think of Kramer in Seinfeld on this issue: he said something like "then you have to sit there at dinner and ask 'how was your day dear?' every day for the rest of your life...".

Sorry. Most men are sh!ts. Give up now. Get a labrador retriever for the most generous love you could ever ask for (beagles are adorable and loving but then they eat a bottle of hand lotion and howl at chipmunks at 5am).

Gary
Oh, and frankly, the whole toilet seat thing? I know what to do with them and when, but there is no way I touch those things, at home or anywhere else. I do what Curious George would do and lift and lower with my shoe. It is worth practicing!

Kerry
Or the inability to seal a package closed-- like the twist-tie on the breadbag, or the lid on the peanut butter jar...

Kasey
Facebook was being a little bitch and wouldn't let me into this thread until just now.
I'm in Camp Kerry as far as questions go...

How about, do guys care about fancy sort of lingerie and things or is that just something that girls think guys are interested in?

Kerry
Ooh, lingerie- good call, Kasey!!

Rebecca
I've got one... short hair vs. long hair. ;)

Gary

-short vs long hair: NAKED! Men want to see you naked. Men could care less about your hair, your brain, anything you have to say....
ahem. Well then. Here is the real scoop: I think many or most men like long hair on a woman. They may not want it cut short, but also may not even NOTICE if it is short. Sorry, a lot of us are not that observant. We just wuv you, we wuv staring into your eyes, bringing you breakfast in bed, we wuv your smile, and you are perfect.

Maureen
I am not able to generalize about men. Remember I live in Redneck land. Oh no, not the silly, cute kind like Jethro, from the "Beverly Hillbilies". The real scarey kind, don't believe me? Ask George my husband. I live in an area where most of the women drink, and do drugs just to cope. I am so lucky to have George. We have some wonderful people around here, but very, very, few. lol lol lol :) As a woman, I am never taken seriously around here, and their comments are biting and hurtful, but I keep my distance and my mouth shut, and come home and kiss my floors. lol lol lol...:) Does George keep the toilette seat down, yes. Does he keep committments, the important ones, does he like lingerie on me, yes. Is he like any other man around here NO, DOUBLE NO, TRIPLE NO!...lol lol lol thank God for that. :) I love reading all your comments on this though. :) We keep our scanner on just to hear of the latest assults and deaths...no not kidding!

Gary
Lingerie: do men like lingerie? What is lingerie? Men want to see you naked! Oh. But getting to naked? I think simple is best myself--sheer lace, or nice athletic cut cotton. Stripes and polka dots are optional there, but here is the rule for me: frilly seems silly!

Gary
As far peanut butter jars, twistys and sh!t--Kerry, tell your husband I will be over shortly to split a six pack and some doritos and watch some baseball. I think the poor guy needs to relax and enjoy judgement free snacking.

Kerry
Okay, but the doritos might be kinda stale and a little chewy 'cause the bag wasn't closed tight. LOL!!!

Gary
limp doritos on a humid day, oh GOD!

Kerry
Indeed!!

Kasey
I think some lingerie just helps us ladies feel pretty. Which is never a bad idea when it comes to sexy times. If you think you're looking good that doesn't hurt. I just wonder what men think. Do they think, oh what is she trying to pull here? Or that looks like a hassle to get off? Or yippee?

God I hate soggy potato chips! When you see the bag there and you think you're going to enjoy a delicious snack and then it's just total crap.

Gary
I have been joking around, and I am just one person. I think that certain undergarments suit certain people, and situations. MY OWN taste is for a more basic look. And I WISH I had closed them chips up because good lord they were limp tonight....

Lizzie
as far as lingerie goes..... My ex bought me some really expensive lingerie, and put it under the Christmas tree at his mother's house, labelled from my 9 month old son.....for me to open during family Christmas. There was a Priest in the room when I opened it. I was traumatized, and mortified and any other words y'all can think up for a situation like that. so needless to say, I am not so big on the whol;e lingerie thing. I buy what I Like, and if it suits someone else, so be it. I don't waste time trying to please anyone, in that regard.

Kerry
My in-laws "welcome" new girlfriends to the family with a gift of really over-the-top (and sometimes oversized) lingerie that you unwrap in front of everyone at Christmas. I was fortunately warned when it happened to me, but it was still weird.

Lizzie
lol, my mother in law was mortified when I opened mine, and you could hear her lecturing my ex two blocks away, when they escaped for a chat later in the day

Kerry
I can't imagine how sucky that whole situation must have been! My ex couldn't even PRONOUNCE lingerie. Really. He actually said "ling-gerr-ree". 'Course, he also spelled 'dolphin' with an F.

Lizzie
snort! yeah mine is not the sharpest tool in the shed either.lol. But, the world can't just be full of beautiful smart people like us.lol

Lizzie
oh and the priest later left the priesthood and married my mother in law( start the banjos twaging now....) it was a bizarre family. Best left an eight hour drive away.......

Kerry
Wow!! That is uh, unusual! Yes, I suppose there needs to be people other than us beautiful smart types, if only for contrast! lol ;)

Lizzie
true that!



Nice mugs here, eh?

13 comments:

Nicki said...

OMG!! Good thing #6 is already on his way to summer rec to work as I am laughing so hard I would have woken him up.

k.a. barnes said...

"They may not smell good, may not be young or sane or sober, but I am sure they would marry even a poodle if it meant a roof over their heads."
I laughed so hard at this I dumped coffee everywhere.
Hey- they may be young- you just won't know until you scratch a couple layers of dirt offa them.

Kimberly said...

Men seem to change more drastically than women do as time passes by.

Reverend Awesome said...

When I was younger I dyed my hair black. Now my Mom hated it and told me as much. My Dad didn't say anything so I thought he didn't notice. I said, "Dad! You haven't said anything about my hair. Did you even notice?" He told me, "Yeah, I noticed. What? I don't like it. What do you want me to say about it?"
For the first time in my life I realized that sometimes people actually don't say anything when they have nothing nice to say. Way to go, Dad!
Oh and that was a bitch to get out. Don't dye your hair black if you think you may want it blonde in a couple of months.

I have some thoughts on the commitment issue. The main one being, if a guy tells you he's not going to commit . . . believe him. I've wasted time myself on such men, sooner or later you learn.

Cheryl said...

Well there...I am good to go for another week. And the mugs are great.

k.a. barnes said...

Kasey- I dyed my hair black once too- right before a big event at my library that I knew was going to freak people out (performing opera? in the library? horrors!) It turned out that under the library's fluorescent lights, my hair looked blue. Like Cookie Monster bright, royal blue. So not only was I an awful NYer coming to this decent small town in Ohio, bringing my fancy city-style music (it was Mozart, for crumb's sake) but I had blue hair to boot. And yeah, it took FOREVER to get rid of it-- it just sort of faded in these muddy patches. It was not good times.

Reverend Awesome said...

I have never looked so sickly as I did with black hair.
I'm very pale. Super white and you would think that since my hair is naturally dark that a darker color would look okay. WRONG. I was so wrong. I looked like I was dying.
I agree, not fun.

TechnoBabe said...

The mugs are great. I need to read every one of your posts so I won't miss when you do a plate or cup in black and red.

soubriquet said...

Gary, this new gig of yours has me laughing every time, it's inspired.
I picture you wearing serious doctor glasses, and pondering each answer, weightily, on behalf mankind.

I'm overawed by the responsibility you carry upon your shoulders. A lesser man might be tempted to give totally bogus answers, and see if you can get away with it...
"Hair, short vs long?" "Well, I thought Sinead O'Connor was really sexy in her shaved head days".

soubriquet said...

Actually.
That's a double-bluff. I mean, Sinead did indeed look pretty good. But ladies, stop right there.
The truth is, we men, we love you for YOU, style your hair in the way you like, we'll still love you, even if we don't like the cut.

Land of shimp said...

Has the kiln risen from the ashes then? Good mugs, nice mugs, mugs worthy of a king.

By the way, my husband who prides himself on noticing things like changes in hairstyle, etc. found out to his great chagrin that he NEVER notices anything other than drastic changes in hair came up with the best excuse/explanation/load of fertilizer ever to get himself off the hook.

"Honey, I spend nearly all my time blinded by your beauty."

Uh huh. I spared his life :-)

Liz said...

yeah i pulled the stupid dye your hair black kick as well, not only is it a pain to grow out, but even if you want to get a hairdresser to fix it, you need to win the lotto/sell a kidney to afford it. I was young, and in art school, so it was expected , but seriously, NEVER Again. I ended up cutting off all of my hair, from near to my waist, to almost a buzz cut.

kcinnova said...

That was a hilarious conversation! Esp. the priest marrying the MIL...

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I am a part-time pottery instructor at Cornell University Pot Shop and a full-time studio potter and sculptor, married to superhawt Missus Tastycake.