lick a chicken?

Confessions of a Kept man: diary of an anarcho-punk potter and househusband, by Gary.
(thanks Kasey, Lizzie, Kerry, and Maureen!

We had well problems, which seems to be fixed, praise Jesus and the well guys. You are totally happy when you get your water back, you can bathe, you can flush with abandon. Got me talking with my BAMF posse of panelists....
(and in answer to that question people are all asking YES, this is part of a real conversation I had with some of my buddies, and I am very grateful they let me edit it and share :)

Gary
.....I remember when we lived in New Hampshire, the septic guy had this cheerful sign on it "in our business, a good flush beats a full house every day"

Kerry
Here there is Stinky's Septic Systems, which is a pretty cool name. On their trucks it says "#1 in the #2 business."

Gary
PERFECTO! Stinkys is located like up the street from us a mile or 2, EWWW! There are all these apartments right next to their nasty little compound.

Kerry
There was a shopping plaza in Findlay, Ohio named the Servix Center. Don't think anyone ever said the name out loud before the sign went up. Gyno office might've been appropriate there, instead of nail salon, tax prep, furniture rental ...

And in my hometown of Canisteo, NY when I was a kid we had "Rhude's House of Guns & Music." Yup. Ammo, guitar strings & clarinet reeds.

Kasey
I can't remember where Heath was, but he was on vacation and saw a tanning salon that was called Jamaican Me Tan.

Maureen
I like the name of our Beauty Salon in town, "Head Hunters"! lol lol lol

Lizzie
theres a hair salon and craft supply store in Parsboro NS called the Hairport and Tole Booth

Kerry
One of the local port-a-john places around here (maybe closer to Elmira) is called Ed's Heads.

Maureen
OH gosh, these are so funny! :) I wanted to name my studio.."Hells Pottery", lol lol lol...after Gordon Ramsey on Hell's Kitchen...lol lol lol :) George suggested to me that would be a BAD IDEA! lol lol lol...:) FAIL

Lizzie
ooohh kasey I have a lick a chick tale to tell......

Gary
LICK A CHICK!!!!

Lizzie
best chicken in Canada baby!!!!
And apparently a hot tourist destination for the lesbian Cruise ship set....

Kasey
OMG! Tell me!!

Lizzie
Well I was at work the other day, and chatting with the girls. When the topic of lick a chick came up. I was like, ya know, that's a pretty racy name for such a conservative community, and all. Lori said, well the chicken place has been called Lick a chick since BEFORE she was born, 35 years ago. So ya know, the times they are a changin. Anyhooo, since they shut down the coal mines and the steel plant, we have become reliant on tourism, and Cruise ships in particular, to trickle some cashola into our economy. So we built this big cruise pavillion, and the Cruise ships come and visit our fair island. They are especially frequent during the Celtic colours festival in the Fall when the leaves are turning, etc.
They have all these bus tours through the Cabot Trail so folks can enjoy the fall glory, and all that. So a couple of years ago, a lesbian cruise ship came to town, and they all piled on a couple of tour buses and headed off to view the foliage. But on the way to the cabot trail, is lick a chick....

Gary
LESBIAN CRUISE SHIP! You know they wanna get some of those tasty thighs and breasts!
Sorry. I am bad.

Lizzie
Apparently, the lesbians caused such a ruckus, the drivers were forced to stop so they could all have thier picture taken and buy souvenirs from the Lick a Chick. I am told it was the highest sales they ever had.
But local people were offended!!!
I thought well, ya named it lick a chick.... what do you expect??? lol
Two tour buses full of lesbians is par for the course ,NO?

Kasey
HAHAHA! That is AWESOME! Why were people offended. I'm not sure if I told you or not, Lizzie, but we have a gas station here in Iowa named Kum and Go.
I say Lick A Chick has finally trumped Kum and Go as far as filthy names go and I love it!
There's a gas station in Minneapolis called Pump n' Munch.

Lizzie
LOL!!! people were offended because on my Island it is still 1956, and a whole cruise ship full of lesbians at the lick a chick was a bit too much for them to handle.... Pump n'Munch, ahhhahahahahaha



Gary Edward Rith is a househusband, full-time studio potter and sculptor and part-time instructor at the Cornell University Pot Shop. Confessions of a Kept Man appears every Monday and Thursday, and Gary's answer column "He Says: ask a guy, by Gary" appears every Wednesday. Gary blogs a whole lot of pottery and other baloney at his blog.