my most important blog post EVER...with haiku!

Beagle in purple
Tutu for Halloween is
Impossibly cute.


Penny is READY.

a question for you: MOVIES, how do you watch???????

I have not been able to figure out facebook since the change last month, seems like before you could follow what was going on, now I feel like it flickers past and I miss everything....and can't really say I care too much. But I don't like to be confused. DITTO NETFLIX.
I don't know what the heck is up with Netflix, but just like facebook, who had an easy to follow formula which people liked, netflix had to mess with things. I am not conservative and I don't mind change, but sometimes companies change things just to change them, you know? Like coke and coke 2 or new coke or classic coke--you are raking in the bucks, why are you messing with that?
We got rid of our netflix acct a couple of days ago. Maybe not for the reasons you would think. I plan to wait out their turbulence and in a few months or so rejoin...or something. It seemed like there was always some netflix something I had to watch and it was a burden, not fun--PLUS, as the wife reminds me, we have stacks of unwatched movies to watch that we own and need too get around to. But basically, A) I prefer to read and B) I need to get out some! More on that...

A) When my mom was little, her grandpa, a teeny tiny Welshman lived with her family. He did not have much schooling and he worked in a Massachusetts factory making Converse high tops, YEP, those sneakers indeed. He read all the time, and she grew up doing the same and some of my earliest memories are of going with her to the library every week. We have not had a TV for a very long time in this household, but I go through a book nearly every other day, 3-5 a week. Mysteries, etcetcetc, but I have never really been a book buyer--I read too many. And ditto the kindle---I love libraries and can't see suddenly spending money on books, plus, as I say, I need to get out of the house and work studio, and the library has always been a treat which brings us to...

B) Getting out of the house! I have no reason to go anywhere. Just the store and library. But I am trying to get out more, and sitting on my duff at home watching the small screen and a dvd is not really what I want....SO, as I told the wife, let's go OUT to more movies. And we do! Contagion and Midnight in Paris last week, excellent both. The big screen is pretty exciting.

ANYWAY, where do you stand on the whole movies thing? I mean, we live in a golden age, where you can sit at home and stream one episode of Ally McBeal or The Office after another, never any ads (oh YES, we have done that!!!!!!!)

Have you been out to movies? Do you find you will just sit there like a zombie, watching anything that comes onto TV? or do you just watch a few good movies at home sometimes, and do you read all that you want to?

Christmas is at least 5 months long, maybe longer?

I am out with the wife on a hot date having, well, cheapo burritos actually, like, 5 and change gets you 2 enormous thingies, and she is like
"HERE. I got you this awesome lambswool sweater for Christmas. But you're cold NOW and you could be wearing it all fall. So, you can have it NOW. I bet you wear it hundreds of times before December 25..." and me and my frozen hands are like, putting it on
"OH YES, so soft and wooly, thank you smoochies....and GOLLY, it matches Spike the cat!!!!"

the Joy of banana bread...

Basically, it was one of those Sunday mornings when you want to warm the kitchen and...get rid of the old bananas. We loooove banana bread in this house, and the wife wanted to make a large apple pie too. You will recall that I showed a recipe a week or 2 ago for little tiny apple pies, easy to make as...pie. So, unfortch, the wife never, um, got around to making the big one, but I made 4 little one--delish! As fas as the banana bread goes, I like it with walnuts and dried cranberries, here is my recipe.

preheat to 350
--use a blender and liquify 2 bananas, pour into a bowl, add an egg, a tbs of lime juice, 1/3 cup cooking oil--stir stir stir
--add to the bowl 1 3/4 cup of flour, 2/3 cup sugar, 2 1/4 teas of baking powder, stir stir stir!
--add raisens or cranberries or blueberries and nuts, up to a cup
--use one large loaf pan, or more fun, 12 muffin pan or 3 small loaflet pans, grease, pour in batter, bake 30-40 minutes (def. more for a big pan) and check--it will look golden brown and cooked and a knife inserted comes out clean
--cool a few then take out of pan, then cool on wire rack, yummo!


(new pottery and baked goods by Gary Rith)

OKTOBERFEST and then some....

Ever have one of those weekend days filled with STUFF, like a work day, except all the scheduled stuff is FUN? We took Penny beagle over to Dave and Amy's farm to walk and fly the KITE...they have Penny's only friend (because she does not like other dogs) Zippy, the little black dog. Amy and Dave have a propeller in the living room and cat art everywhere...and cats! Mew the elderly grey cat is my buddy :) Then, of course, it was burritos out and shopping and finally we went around the corner to Paul and Julie's massive OKTOBERFEST. Thank goodness Paul and Julie live a 30 second walk away across the river, because, well, Oktoberfest, you know??? They are so delightful, even though I figured I would be eating at home, what with all the sausages around the place, but the Germans, thank goodness, also have pickles and pretzels and spaetzles and salads, and, of course, foamy steins full of vegan beers...

Paul and Julie, our excellent neighbors and Germanophiles ....

It was brutally cold and windy out there..the kite liked it....

below, David at Oktoberfest waving sausages at us lasciviously.....

around and around they go.....

Happy Saturday friends!

(dog and cat mugs by Gary Rith)

like flowers :)

I showed a vase last week, don't worry if you forgot it, showing this shape. I am interested in making pots that are sorta flowered shape, you know? It is a multi-step process, not all that easy to figure if you want to do it WELL. But I am getting it, I am in the groove--the vases were the first tries, then seeing if it would make good mugs (yes!) and finally a tea or coffee pot, tricky because of fitting the lid on a lip that has been shaped....tres BON :)


(new pottery by Gary Rith)

a question for you on the tyranny of shopping....

I wonder sometimes if all the thrill in shopping is in the hunt? Like for the house cat: stalking and pouncing is the thrill, dismemberment of the mousie just done out of boredom, now that Mickey has been caught?

Maybe it is true sometimes for some people. I notice, as somebody who sells things to people, that selling an item and taking cash is often like a movie from the 70s: 2 people are all hot and bothered to jump on each other, but after the transaction is complete, they just want to move on quickly. (well, in the movie, they had a smoke and he said "I'll call ya" as she wondered wtf she saw in this gorilla)

I know that if its a super cool item, like the POLAR BEAR TEE I recently ordered, I can't wait to get it on and wear it. Then I launder it and wear it again! 3-4 times in one week! Or, for example, I buy gnocci at the store and we have them right away for dinner. But I notice many of my customers may be chatty about their purchase right up to passing over the money, and then they are like WHOOSH, gone....

Then there is somebody I know, maybe a shopaholic, who admits to never being able to leave any store, ever, without buying something. She claims that she does not want the owner to feel bad that she didn't buy something. But maybe you end up with a household full of junk that way? Or, back to our movie example: a lot of gorillas come home, and she catches a, um, disease.

Then there is the men and women question. As a perhaps typical macho man, I go to the store and grab what I need, what I planned to buy, like gnocci or a polar bear tee, and pay and depart. It all just takes seconds. And I never talk to salespeople (aside from being shy) unless I have an important question or I know I am getting something, I don't want to get their hopes up. As a guy who has sold a lot of items at shows, I am always amazed at the number of yahoos who yack at you, tell you their life story, then wander off, or the teases, the ones who seem interested in buying something, but then wander off to spend their money on a silk screened tee with a howling wolf instead of my pots. Its like that movie, the bar scene: he's just not that into you.

So, browsing, looking for deals, seeing what is there to see, spending what seems like forever in the store? Not for me. I took the wife out shopping last week, and tried to convince her I really meant it: take all the time you need! She is used to me pushing her along, but I reassured her that the 5 books and magazines I planned to read in the car would keep me amused. This is the mature stage of that movie: when the 2 stars settle down and get married and...shop together for life.

BUT the wife might prefer shopping with her friend !!!! who is a good match for her shopping temperament. Plus drives a Mercedes. !!!! also likes to linger and look at all kinds of junk, will take unexpected detours, and will even do garage sale circuits, like on Memorial Day when garage sales are everywhere. The wife and !!!! are well suited for shopping together.....which takes alot of pressure off of me.

Then there is the other type of shopping companion. The type who drags you along, needing a mirror, somebody to look at THEM. "Does this make my ass look big? How does this purple look on me??? Does this orange top make me look HOT????"

I will admit to being, as friends have said of me, "the most impatient person on Earth", which is why I will go out of my way to give the wife shopping time, as a polite gift, just like she listens to my boring stories.

What sort of shopper are you? What do you like about shopping? Is a sport for you or just a necessity?

apples coming out of our ears!!!

Let's say you have an apple tree across the street, as I do, producing a gazillion apples this fall, and you are making tons of apple sauce. You start to get ideas! Like "how do you make applesauce cookies?" I found a recipe here online and like it a lot, and made some changes to it, EASY PEASY and delish!

They were cooling on the counter and I took one dog out and came back and....well, Penny is a small beagle, but she was trying SO HARD to get up onto the counter. She was giving me this guilty look here...luckily she did not manage to steal any THIS TIME....

applesauce cookies!

1 cup brown sugar
1 egg
3/4 cup margerine--12 tbs
1 cup applesauce
3 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
1 cup chopped nuts
1 cup raisins

Directions
Preheat the oven to 325 degrees. Grab 2-3 cookie sheets.
In a mixing bowl, soften margerine in 'wave for half a minute then cream together the brown sugar and margerine. Stir in the egg, and then the applesauce until well blended. Stir in the flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves. Mix in nuts and raisins. Mixture seems a bit sticky, liquidy, but will work nicely. Drop by spoonfuls onto the prepared cookie sheets--I make huge cookies, so 2 cookie sheets worked.
Bake for 11 to 13 minutes in the preheated oven, until the edges start to brown. Cool on cookie sheets for a few minutes before removing to wire racks to cool completely.

(new pottery by Gary Rith)

picnic with le dawg....

The wife was working Monday so me and the beagle packed the picnic and joined her at the sundial on Cornell's Art's quad. We are talking, like, 80 degrees, magnificent! The beagle was not exactly an angel....

slacker, c'est moi

The wife = SNEAKY.

the tastiest apples EVER

Cornell has, of course, a huge agriculture program, and along with the donkeys, horses, cows and such on campus, there is a rather spectacular orchard. We got a boatload of these A PLUS green apples called shizuka, probably the tastiest apple EVER....
have a great Monday, catcha later!

Oktoberfest ahoy!

I love the idea of Oktoberfest. It is often the case that Columbus Day weekend here in the north has Indian summer sunshine PLUS gorgeous fall colors, and you know that within weeks the snow is gonna fly. Saturday WAS HOT, like 80 hot, and it had been down in the 30s earlier in the week, with boatloads of rain, so you KNOW we are loving this and having Oktoberfest at home. Next Saturday we go to a REAL one, with other people....happy Sunday all!

PERFECT DAY

I was reading the NYT review of a revision of Dale Carnegie's book about winning friends AND influencing people, and it boils it all down to: "be a good listener, admit faults quickly and emphatically, and smile more often, among them —"
Good advice, eh? My cat Spike has got it DOWN, and you can see a mug here inspired by my cat Spike and dog Penny...they love each other so much. Having a perfect day together.....



Lou Reed
Transformer (1972)
Perfect Day

Just A Perfect Day,
Drink Sangria In The Park,
And Then Later, When It Gets Dark,
We Go Home.
Just A Perfect Day,
Feed Animals In The Zoo
Then Later, A Movie, Too,
And Then Home.

Oh It's Such A Perfect Day,
I'm Glad I Spent It With You.
Oh Such A Perfect Day,
You Just Keep Me Hanging On,
You Just Keep Me Hanging On.

Just A Perfect Day,
Problems All Left Alone,
Weekenders On Our Own.
It's Such Fun.
Just A Perfect Day,
You Made Me Forget Myself.
I Thought I Was Someone Else,
Someone Good.

Oh It's Such A Perfect Day,
I'm Glad I Spent It With You.
Oh Such A Perfect Day,
You Just Keep Me Hanging On,
You Just Keep Me Hanging On.

You're Going To Reap Just What You Sow,
You're Going To Reap Just What You Sow,
You're Going To Reap Just What You Sow,
You're Going To Reap Just What You Sow...

plotting an exquisite weekend :)

Not much on the plate, other than WORK. These photos show some things I was working on Thursday. Yesterday the clock hands just flew around the dial, oh gosh, so many items to finish. I am very excited about the flower shaped black vase in front of that trio, it was my first attempt at that shape--and you might see it amongst the unfinished pots, where yesterday I tried turning it into mugs, WITH GREAT SUCCESS! The rest of the pics show before and after with a bunch of pieces.

The Christmas season, which us retailers are deep into, keeps us BUSY indeed, but a person can have fun. I hope you can have fun too, what are you planning? Tell us in comments.

in which my imaginary long lost uncle finally dies, leaving me a million dollars...

OK, my dream house, maybe yours too? We are driving down the road a few miles from home, on the way to the wife's office, and I see that my dream house is FOR SALE. I am guessing "1.8 million, so gorgeous, great yard" and wow! Whatta steal! I check the listing, not 1.8 mill at all, only a few bucks under 700 thou...gotta keep hoping powerball pays off........if we played....

or some relative I have never heard of mistakenly leaves me a fortune...

And in my new driveway???? The mini cooper coupe, OH YES....

Penny and the superbig, super scary spider!!!!

Before we talk about the big horrible spider, here is a pot or 2. I told you Elizabeth asked for a berry bowl and I made some with grapes. They are a good medium-large size, holes in the base, with a dish under. You dump in your fruit, rinse it off, drain it a bit, and set it on the dish on the table, voila!
ALSO, I had told you the wife needed a pencil cup, and I was like "make it a beagle!"

OK, let's talk spider...scroll down to look at that monster. Penny wanted to eat it, I would not let her. Later she ate a fly and a moth, so she still had a good day, but what is that thing? I need to check with my pal Erin, otherwise known as Summer. She is, for real, a PHD student of bugs at Cornell...and I am sure she might be able to help with giant arachnids.....
this has basically an unmarked black-grey body, with black-grey legs that have white stripes. ICK!


You might need these mugs, for sale now with other great stuff, at my online etsy gallery!

the wife was WRONG

Point A: I am showing the wife this adorable tee shirt online, it has a polar bear on it! I want it for her, bad. I LOVE THAT POLAR BEAR!!!!!!!!!!! But she is like
"I don't wear orange" and I am like
"its not orange, they say it is 'terra cotta'" and the wife is like
"right, ORANGE! No thanks" but it has tormented me for weeks, I love that polar bear! the problem is
POINT B: Well, it is true, I am a compact person, and sometimes, to be honest, I wear kids' sizes.
So, I, um, ordered this child's tee shirt for myself. The important thing about
POINT 3: kids' sizes is that they are cheaper than adult clothes!!!!! and
Point 4: there is no question, some kids' clothes are flippin' FUN. But why should kids have all the good times?

magnificent apple pies!

I got this recipe from a magazine, probably like Martha St3wart. It is a recipe to make little apple pies with little kids, immensely EASY and with very little other than apples and a little dough, immensely healthy too. It is the opposite of store bought pies, (with a few tiny apples chunks floating in unidentified sauce) and like I say, EASY!!!!!!

I started, of course, with picking apples off the tree across the street and it helps to have a beagle with you when making apple pie.....

Gary's baby apple pies

-prepare dough with half hour to spare:

--use a fork and mix in bowl 1 1/3 cup flour, 1 tbs sugar, 6 tbs. margerine, 5 tbs. water---when it looks doughy and combined, set into fridge for at least half hour

--later that same day! preheat oven to 350

--in another bowl, chop 2 apples, mix in 1 tbs. lime juice, 1 tbs. sugar, 2 tbs. flour, allspice, ground cloves and cinnamon shakes--stir to combine nicely

--take dough out of fridge, form into a sausage, chop into 8 approx. equal parts

--using 4 little pyrex custard cup thingies (or two 4 inch pie pans), line each cup with a dough section--the dough is usually very elastic and easy to pat and push and spread to cover most of the cup

--fill cups with apple mixture, pat down--it should fit into the 4 just right

--pat the remaining 4 dough bits into round patties, press onto top of cups (I am lazy about this but you could be very careful--does not matter!)

--set cups onto baking sheet and bake about 35-45 minutes, until they are nicely golden brown on top, remove from oven and you can top with a pinch of cinnamon sugar, oh boy! let cool, then eat!

--

UNmentionables and YOU

SO, once again, the wife is talking with her pal Zee, and the subject of UNMENTIONABLES comes up. Unmentionables is usually, well, undies or lingerie, right? Or like Maya Angelou's grandmother would say, as she and her brother headed out to the washtub in the yard for a bath "wash as far as possible, then wash possible".

But when you think about it, unmentionables could be anything, like politics, religion, family, your spouse's new leather boot fetish, ahem, etc etc etc.

What is your unmentionable story? When I think unmentionable I think "SEWAGE. I do NOT want to talk about sewage." So here is my sewage story.

Back when we lived in the woods of New Hampshire, we had a stretch, as you do, of weather below zero for a few weeks. When we flushed we didn't get no satisfaction! We had a septic tank out there somewhere, and a pipe leading from the house out to it, and, well, you know, what should only go OUT of the house wanted to COME BACK IN. We suspected freezing down the line somewhere, and the plumber came out. Friendly guy, but old and creaky. He was like "where is your septic tank?" and I waved vaguely at the side yard, covered with, no joke, 3 feet of snow. He was like "well, I have to get into the top, you need to find the opening. I'll be back after lunch" AND so, I started with the snow shovel, clearing an area about 8 X 10 feet of the snow, looking for approximate and unmarked spot where I KNEW THE TOP OF THE SEPTIC TANK WAS. The ground was frozen, and therefore, clearing the snow had been the easiest part of the job.

I used a pick of some kind, to hack through the first layers of ice and dirt, then started shoveling. Luckily, i did not have to shovel the whole 8 X 10 foot area, just about 6 X 10...and after 2 hours, I found the concrete top of the tank, and the plumber came back. I was more tired than in my whole life, 2-3 hours hard labor in my snowy yard, but that is not the unmentionable part of this story.

The plumber pops the lid open in 2 seconds, which is as it should be, then SLIPS ON THE ICE and his whole left leg, and nearly the rest of him, falls into my septic tank. Par for the course for a plumber, eh? I mean, why else would they charge 90 bucks or more an hour? They flippin' earn it....

ANYWAY, so the plumber gets himself and foot and all out of my septic tank--seemingly unconcerned about where half his body had just been and what was on his boots-- and he is peering around in there "oh, we didn't need to get into the top of the tank, I got something else I can try that should work" and I am gaping down into the hole, looking at what was, well, it had been mine, but I had given it up. I did not want to see it ever again, what was in my septic tank, I had said goodbye and good riddance long ago....

ANYWAY, in slow motion, just like his foot and leg slipping on the ice and falling into my demonic septic tank, I watch from several feet away as my shovel decides to...slowly...slowly but gathering speed, slide down the ice and into the gaping top of my septic tank, splashing into it with a loud and noisy PLOP.

The plumber looks at me, and says "you want your shovel back? I could probably fish it out if you have a rake" and I am like "NO NO! No problem!!!!!! Forget the shovel!" and the plumber replaces the top of my demonic septic tank and from under the house uses high power water to melt and dislodge ice in the outflow pipe, EASY and done in five minutes (why didn't he try that FIRST???) and I used ...my OTHER shovel...and filled back over the top of my septic tank, but put a large marker on top...just in case.....

PLEASE: tell us your very fascinating UNmentionables story down in comments!