Gary's Third Pottery Blog

When the going gets tough, dragons gonna get going....

Gary's third pottery blog

WRITE TO ME! Come see me! Open studio HERE! November 25-26 (11-4 each day); Aurora Art and Design, daily until 12/24; Cooperstown Art Assoc. daily until 12/24; Ellis Hollow Community Fair, 12/10; December 10, Little Red Wagon at the Space at Greenstar. All material on this blog unless stated otherwise is copyright Gary Edward Rith 2016

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Dear Abby's assistant....

I dreamt I was Dear Abby's assistant when she wrote the newspaper advice column of my youth. I remember that either she or Ann Landers said:

a) yes, the birth control pill, a young lady should take the pill and hold it firmly between her knees and she will never become pregnant (cracks me up---because, when you think about it, with a little yoga and contortionist action, believe me, s3x and pregnancy can be achieved with a pill clenched between the knees--and I wonder how many creative young couples tried that?)
I don't give her high marks for that advice. She should have said take the pill out from between your knees and swallow the damn thing, DAILY.

b) to the many young women who wrote to her that their boyfriend had been gay, she wrote that gays always went back to men. I think the real answer to that is maybe, maybe not, so I give her low marks there too, what did she know about gay men???????

c) She, or Ann, also said men will always tire of pronography, that once a man has seen a vajajay, unless he is a sicko, he will never look again. YEAH RIGHT!

The so called Greatest Generation may have had its head stuck in the sand.

Anyway, my dream was that I had a job as her assistant. I was given boring letters and asked to tart them up, make them more interesting and salacious for her to answer. Instead of "my husband left me for another man!" I would write "even though I am a contortionist with ample charms, my boyfriend made prono movies of us doing it but then he left me for a male orangutan!"

(new pottery by Gary Rith--I love that glaze, and it makes me want to make a lot of frogs)


Laura said...

your frogs are so awesome!!!! Love the jade!!

Laura said...

your frogs are so awesome!!!! Love the jade!!

Laura said...

your frogs are so awesome!!!! Love the jade!!

Laura said...

your frogs are so awesome!!!! Love the jade!!

Gary's third pottery blog said...

whoa, Laura, thanks!

gz said...

they MUST be good!

they are- love them frogs!!

Knight said...

Hilarious Gary.
I was busy thinking about the terrible pill advice and "Don't bend over!" before I finished reading your addition. I think you just start a Dear Gary advice column here.

Jay said...

I'm sure that male orangutan was pretty sexy though, right?

Reverend Awesome said...

Won't someone think of the orangutans!

Unknown said...

hahahaha love the Orangutan, perfect! :) Your frogs like I have always stated are truly Ribbiting! Spectacular!

Michèle Hastings said...

nice teapot! you are really getting into the stamping thing and it works well with your style.

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I am a full-time studio potter, sculptor, and dog walker, married to superhawt Missus Tastycake.