I go to the doctor for the appointment and its like "I twisted my ankle. Its sore" and the nurse is like "unh huh, let's see how tall you are" and it turns out I am an inch shorter than last year (although last year I was shocked to have grown an inch), and then she is like "strip it all off for the doctor and put this thing on" and I am like "even my socks?" and realize
"of course my socks, we need to look at my FEET".
I had scrubbed my feet extra clean Tuesday. You don't want anybody looking at your usual nasty and gnarly feet....
OK, so I am sitting there waiting for the doctor, who comes sweeping in after a knock, and there is this pretty young woman with her. And the door is wide open. There is me, in my johnny, exposing myself to the waiting room full of people, including the wife. So, really, I am sharing my skinny little legs and clean feet with the world. The doctor introduces me to the extremely tall young woman at her side "this is blah blah blah, a medical student, OK if she joins us?" and I would say anything to see that door closed once again, so I say
"sure thing!".
Anyway, after the ankle, because this is an educational experience for the med student, the 2 of them have me lying back and stripped nekkid, as you can imagine, and they are leaning over me, poking and prodding....the med student seems to be having a hard time finding my heart....or maybe she is just prolonging her look at my awesome bod?
Anyway, sure, there I am, stretched out, and I am FAMOUS for not liking to be touched...or, well, near people, and I must be looking MURDER at them (I am famous for my murderous looks, too) and they ask "what's wrong, what hurts?" and I say "nothing hurts, but I am not used to people being close to me".
That, coupled with the murderous look, makes them back off entirely.... I s'pose in their line of work, you never know who might be a psycho killer....
Oh, Gary. You do make me laugh. Hope the ankle feels better soon. Those garments are a horror aren't they? Eesh!
ReplyDeleteMy good friend Lee always says that he doesn't like to be touched "unless you mean business." after all that, how is your ankle?
ReplyDeleteHere's a good line for when the medical people get too close.
ReplyDeleteI had a patient at the hospital look at me and say "I could break every bone in your body, if I wanted to".
Take care of that ankle. At least you didn't sprain a hand.
YEs, you are right about the hand and wrist :) The ankle is, miraculously, coming along quite nicely, and already was before I got the appt! Relief :) I did not stop running, but today I was back up to the usual distance.
ReplyDeleteI'd think twice about going back to a doctor that has to see your whole bod to treat an ankle!
ReplyDeleteI can commiserate with not wanting people getting too close, much less putting their paws all over you. I don't like doctors to begin with, but when you become a living lesson plan I imagine it only gets worse.
ReplyDeleteI was like "my prostrate is FINE", and so, we did NOT go there....
ReplyDeleteI don't like people touching me either (unless it's Benji) especially in the doctor's office. The last time I had my blood pressure taken I almost passed out.
ReplyDeleteHa HA. I have never heard of anyone having to strip down for an ankle exam. I think you were right to scare them off with innuendo of a psychotic episode!
ReplyDeleteOh Gary you make me laugh. And I am glad you washed your feet, were your toe nails clipped?
ReplyDeleteMy toenails were scrubbed and BUFFED too :)
ReplyDeleteOh this made me laugh!!
ReplyDeleteI have a similar story, but it is too long to relate here. Let's just say, I was pregnant, in a indelicate position, my doctor walks in with the hottest looking Med student I have ever seen and says "do you mind if Dr. D observes?" What the!! It was a little late. Anyway, fast forward 25 years and I go to a Dr. For a BUNION problem. Guess what? DR. D was the orthopedic surgeon!!! Still hot, still younger than me. I recognized him (of course he didn't recognize me. He never really saw my face the first time). I laughed so hard after the appointment, wondering what made him decide not to be an OBGYN.
Believe it or not, this is the short version.
Glad your ankle is better.
ALBUG
Ha ha! Quite an amusing story : ) hope you get better soon... or maybe you'd prefer another trip back to the doctors ; )
ReplyDeleteI am in catchup mode and so, skimming through older posts, I missed a few. Thanks for pointing me toward this funny one. :)
ReplyDelete