Saturday, December 24, 2011

19 years married today and the most romantic gift a guy can give

Well sure, you can give jewelry, but hell, what does she really want? What does she really desire in her heart of hearts???? A NEW TOILET BAGEL! The conversation goes like this, after:
"I thought you would love getting a new toilet...what are they called, you know, the round thing, the toilet bagel!" and she is eating her breakfast, which is, coincidentally, a bagel, and sorta spits out her mouthful
"GOD! Don't call it that! Its a toilet seat!"

Oh, right, makes sense, toilet seat. Anyway, you have been married umpteen years, you give the less romantic* more utilitarian and useful gifts. The smart man gives the wife the new blender, the new vacuum cleaner, if the budget is low, a new toilet plunger, maybe some windex and paper towels*. I went for it: drove down to home despots and was amazed at the selection! 5 dollars and up! I got the WHISPER QUIET!!!!! Did you know you can get a toilet seat with spring loaded hinges, YOU CANNOT SLAM THE LID DOWN. Which is useful when guests are coming...guests who might, you know, have the midnight tinkle and slam the toilet lid down....

OK, YES, she was totally surprised to come home to a new toilet seat...a fancy one no less! But I have to say, although installation is not hard, it is horrible. I scrubbed and scrubbed, everywhere, of course, but the whole process makes you wash your hands about 15 times......

MERRY CHRISTMAS MY WONDERFUL FRIENDS!!!!




(me and the wife recently: we met December 1989 and were friendly for 2-3 years, had our first outing or almost date December 1991--Beauty and the Beast was one of the first outings---and January 1992 we looked at each other and CLICK, became an item....and got married Christmas eve 1992 :)
*btw, in addition to the new toilet bagel, I gave her a gold ring and pin with amethyst and opals, pink and red roses too....not as dumb as you think I am, am I?
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14 comments:

  1. Mrs. Pottery BlogDecember 24, 2011 at 8:48 AM

    No, you're not. Pretty smart in fact! Smoochies on 19!

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  2. CherylDecember 24, 2011 at 8:52 AM

    Oh my word, you are simply the greatest husband in the world, after mine of course...I would love such a fancy schmancy terlet seat myself...actually we need a whole new terlet in the master bath and it has sent me over the edge...anyhoo congrats to you both and many, many more happy years together!

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  3. smartcatDecember 24, 2011 at 9:09 AM

    You seem to have acquired a halo for all your husbandly goodness.

    Congratulations on #19. Marvelous to celebrate on Christmas Eve. May many more dances round the sun be yours.

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  4. smartcatDecember 24, 2011 at 9:36 AM

    P.S. Referring back one post......I still think all these pretty little vampires need to meet up with Buffy!

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  5. ~ Sil in CoreaDecember 24, 2011 at 9:37 AM

    Happy Nineteenth! That's TEEEriffic! A toilet seat. What a thoughtful gift, indeed! I'm sure the jewelry was appreciated, too. ;-)

    I remember my grandma had an "upholstered" seat back in the 1950s, foam-rubber covered with plastic-coated cloth. Seemed kinda creepy to me at the time...LOL!

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  6. AnonymousDecember 24, 2011 at 10:25 AM

    Happy Anniversary Gary and Maude, have a wonderful day!! :o)

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  7. smalltownmeDecember 24, 2011 at 11:06 AM

    Once I got a toilet for mother's day and I was delighted. Happy Anniversary!

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  8. denisDecember 24, 2011 at 12:01 PM

    Dude, you are putting all the other husbands to shame!

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  9. Michèle HastingsDecember 24, 2011 at 12:11 PM

    this could lead to bigger and more complicated remodeling jobs ;-)

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  10. UnknownDecember 24, 2011 at 3:13 PM

    Between this and the septic tank talk, your interests are in the crapper.

    Good thinking on the alternative gift choice, by the way.

    Unlike your septic tank, your toilet seat gift needed a bit of backup.

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  11. Claudia from Idiot's KitchenDecember 24, 2011 at 4:13 PM

    Congratulations to you and the lovely Maude on your anniversary!

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  12. Elizabeth GrimesDecember 24, 2011 at 5:49 PM

    LOL! What did she get you? A lump of coal? :) Merry Christmas and happy anniversary!

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  13. HilaryDecember 25, 2011 at 12:04 AM

    Happy Anniversary and Merry Christmas. :)

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  14. Reverend AwesomeDecember 27, 2011 at 2:41 PM

    Congratulations on your anniversary! The toilet seat is the traditional 19th anniversary gift, right?
    A toilet bagel! Oh god.

    You wouldn't be you if you didn't mix something silly in with all the nice gifts.

    ReplyDelete