two fingers

The wife comes home early from work and I hear her and I go running and start to make a feeble attempt on the breakfast dishes, my NOSE running freely. She is like
"no no no! Let me walk the dog and do the dishes and I'll bring you a couple of shots of whiskey for your cold" and I am thinking
"OH! GOSH! And to think I was this lazy azz in bed all afternoon, me, the dog, and my puffs plus with aloe. THIS WOMAN IS AWESOME! Wonder what I need to do to PROLONG THIS COLD and enjoy this treatment?"
but what I say is
"sniffle" and give that sad and sickly look and retreat to where Nurse Wifey can take care of me....and hear her say "but you can still clean the cat box, since your nose is all stuffed anyway"