Thursday, March 25, 2010

"GOD, you're subjecting people to so much...": the story of the NON soul patch

This post is by the Wife. Kasey was like "why doesn't Maude do a post???" and she had been thinking about it, then she just jumped in at breakfast this morning. Actually, I am doing her typing while she folds laundry and shouts instructions at me from across the room.

It goes like this:

She is taking my photo at 7 am, the better to show my slacker-tude in the shaving department:
I am like "this is brilliant, you are SO smart" and she is like "that's a good way to wake up" and I am like "I tried to hold still but the dog was licking my face"
and as she clicks away she asks "will you shave today? You're going out in public?" and I am indignant and reply "no way! as long as it doesn't itch like crazy, why bother? I'll be all scruffy and macho at the grocery store and all the ladies will be like "OMIGOSH! HE IS SO HANDSOME! LIKE DON JOHNSON IN Miami Vice!"
and she is like
"yeah, it makes me scream when you kiss my _________" and I am like, embarrassed, and say "well, the dog likes it"




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12 comments:

  1. UnknownMarch 25, 2010 at 8:25 AM

    I *hate* kissing my husband when he hasn't shaved for a few days. OUCH! Seriously, it's like getting a rug burn.

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  2. Gary's third pottery blogMarch 25, 2010 at 8:37 AM

    the wife tells me it tickles :) heck, she has been known to say "you aren't going to shave today, are you?"

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  3. Reverend AwesomeMarch 25, 2010 at 9:44 AM

    From the mouth of Maude. Love it. I hope Maude's viewpoint can become a regular thing.

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  4. CherylMarch 25, 2010 at 10:18 AM

    Yay for Maude! Maybe she could do a post every so often?? And Don Johnson...swoon.

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  5. KimberlyMarch 25, 2010 at 11:16 AM

    Stubbles are tough to kiss.

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  6. Susan as HerselfMarch 25, 2010 at 2:18 PM

    Your wife is going straight to heaven!

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  7. UnknownMarch 25, 2010 at 4:59 PM

    Lookin' a little mountain-manish... scruffy face, flannel shirt.. I think you should grow a handlebar mustache and wax the curly ends. :)

    Thanks for the post, Maude. :)

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  8. BSOBMarch 25, 2010 at 6:29 PM

    P.S. - YAY MAUDE

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  9. BSOBMarch 25, 2010 at 6:29 PM

    dude, i had a meeting the other day and HAD to shave, but i am thinkin never to do it again - it totally sucks! who invented rubbing a razor across your face anyways. Not that i'm into beards or anything like that, but i've been using a beard trimmer thing and buzzing it on the closest setting so it looks like i shaved yesterday sort of thing. Like the perpetually stubbly men of Lost. How is it that they are always in mid stubble just perfectly...maybe its the island that does it.
    so, shaving is kinda lame. although for girls legs it gets a bit iffy. sorry ladies if thats totally one sided.

    just say no, Gary

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  10. red dirt girlMarch 25, 2010 at 7:37 PM

    Maude, you rock! We all tend to be a bit scruffy here in the barnyard!
    xxx

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  11. DiMarch 26, 2010 at 5:02 AM

    The gap, the space, the missing word ... Gary, you can write 'mouth' but a space implies god-fearing wickedness. Did you do that on purpose? I think you're doing well now that you have the BAMFB award. Congratulations on your descent.

    The Eskimo joke. MADE ME LAUGH!

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  12. AnonymousMarch 26, 2010 at 4:18 PM

    trying to catch up a bit after being off the grid kinda for the last couple days and here it is, Maude's posting. hi maude... have to admit i'm with ben above. i just let it grow a little and cut it close over and over so it looks like i do a bit of maintenance but you just missed it by a day or so. good to see your post, maybe you could do a whole blog? you could use the same pics as gary and then we'd see the happenings each day from a different perspective.

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