A friend who shall remain anonymous sent this rather funny article to me. When you think about it, 1960 or so, this was what our parents (of GEN Xers) were told.
You kinda wonder what these UNUSUAL PRACTICES are, but you are NOT surprised that the late 1960s ushered in a WHOLE NEW way of looking at relationships and unusual practices....
Part of your "family" blogging, eh?
ReplyDeleteWell then....
ReplyDeleteMore unusual practices. I love it.
ReplyDeleteA small moan....
ReplyDeletealways!
Heh...
ReplyDeleteThat'd be the day!
ReplyDeleteI'll give him a small moan alright...!
Please, anyone, do help me to find such a husband in 2010! :-))
ReplyDeleteOK, that is hilarious. Mildly sad to think it was real, but hilarious nonetheless.
ReplyDelete*sputter, sputter* WHAT?! I got your small moan right here. Good lord. Those men would pass out if they could see what I look like when I wake up in the morning. That's one way I know my husband REALLY loves me. Otherwise, he'd go screaming out the door. ;)
ReplyDeleteI think I just spit tea on my laptop. I have never in my life seen anything like this. LOL!
ReplyDeletewhat- you don't all do this?
ReplyDeleteThis is how we roll out here in central NC!
Yeah, and check out the pioneer pinup girl that goes along with this advice.
ReplyDeleteThis makes me want to invent a time machine so that I can travel back and kick some ass.
Wait until your husband is asleep? What, so that you'll stand a better chance of being able to smother him?
It is funny, I'll admit, but it's also alarming as can be. I'll bet that eventually some woman took a copy of The Feminine Mystique and beat the living crap out of whoever wrote this book. And I would have cheered, and cheered.
As someone that won a contest for looking like holy hell in the morning...I think I would have been a failure as a lady in these days.
ReplyDeleteNo one had me read this when I got married, so fortunately I've been doing it all wrong for the past 22 years, LOL!
ReplyDeleteThe comments here are even funnier than the article!
I think you're all being very unfair. Back in the days when I was writing the book, it was widely praised. I only regret that it was so heavily edited by those damned suffragette gorgons. I see that in this extract it misses completely some most important advice, to always smile and utter words of admiration every time your husband farts. Some women fail to understand the pride a man has in a good resonant trumpeting, and few remember to sniff appreciatively. Farting is exclusively a male activity, men are quite used to congratulating each other on their eructations, and your man will use his superior skills as a means of expressing satisfaction, marking his territory, and drowning out any oppressively floral scents you have added to his home.
ReplyDeleteRemember, ladies, part of YOUR feminine mystique is to pretend that you NEVER fart, this is why, if flatulence occurs it is very important to have a household pet, a dog preferably, but a cat will suffice, in order to take the blame (or credit) for any such unchoreographed slips of the sphincter.
I second the good Brigadier. It brings on the urge to post some more educational videos for ladies, as I fear schools, and their mothers, are not teaching them properly. Why, the other day I saw a woman failing completely to defer to her husband. I see women INSISTING on driving, even when their husband is only moderately drunk.
ReplyDeleteGood Lord! what is the world coming to.
And as for that timid little moan?
I have been subjected to shouting, yelling, thrashing about, notes of warbling song, the Lord's name blurted repeatedly, mmmf mmmf MMMMF! yes!YES"YES YES YES..oh oh oooh OOOOOOOOHHHHH!!!!etcetera for prolongued periods, indeed, I fear some ladies are so unconstrained as to wake the neighbours. Ladies! just a polite little moan is sufficient.
Gary, I do apologise for having the temerity to comment here, I'm afraid i have not as yet sought my dear husband's permission.
ReplyDeleteI am so thankful to you for posting this advice, as I am newly married and a little unsure of my wifely duties. My own dear mother could not bring herself to speak of the secrets of conjugal relations, and so it is a great help to me to find your instructions.
Do help, please, in explaining "the more unusual practices", I am very worried. He keeps trying to undo my tightly knotted pajamas. And he suggested, within only a month or so of marriage, that we should keep the light on as we undress. I think it was after he stumbled and broke his nose in the dark. Why can he not understand that it is immodest and un-natural to try to peek at my exposed ankles?
Hmmm, I got married in the late 60's and by then most of us were immune to this sort of "helpful advice". What a hoot!
ReplyDeleteI think I am going to shock my husband with night-time face cream and hair rollers tonight ;-)
ReplyDelete