Georges Le Soq hits the kitchen on Valentine's EVE

My sock monkey Georges is hoping to SCORE some action for Valentine's, and he tells me has a number of dates planned for Sunday. I'd believe it when I see it. He is like
"mon ami, you got yourself a, how you say, HOT BABE" and I am like
"why yes Georges, she is the HOTTEST" and he is like
"ees true, but maybe I can score a hot babe for myself" and I am like
"I have my secrets, Georges" and he is like
"you share vis me" and I am like
"what, you mean, TRIPLE CHOCOLATE COOKIES????" and he is like
"mon ami, I want to make it vis zee ladies, help me, I am mebbe desperate" and he gives me that sad puppydog sock monkey look and I am unconvinced until he tells me
"mon ami, you help me vis zee cookies, I make zee dinner: zee chili mac tater tot burritos!!!!" and I don't need any more convincing....





Later Georges and I are discussing some couples I have seen today, and maybe this is merely a straight guy perspective:
"Georges, I see all these pretty women walking around with ugly guys. They're all ugly and charmless and unmannered. Goodness, women get the short end of the stick: a world full of wonderful women, and all these horrible men. I mean, my wife has ME, and you know, I am the lucky one in this relationship fer sure" and he is like
"eees true, zo many gorgeous, charming femmes, very few dashing French sock monkeys like me to keep dem happy. I am reminded, mon ami, of zat tune from Joe Jackson, where he starts with "pretty women out walking with gorillas down my street" and later he wonders "is she really going out with him?" 'cause there's something going wrong around here..."